Lessons of failure!

One of the lessons that I am learning deeply nowadays is to guard my mind and to keep myself in Him as I go through the valley of tasting failure and defeat in trying to work out the will of God in my life. In trying to progress in my spiritual journey, I took upon myself the challenge of praying the prayer of faith. I wanted to test that word of promise from God and bring glory to God by asking and receiving in His Name. Little did I know that God was testing me, instead. The anticipation of success gave way to despair when I did not receive. I knew that God was causing me to examine my inner self and learn from what transpired inside. I was more inclined to be disappointed with God and then with myself. It took some time to realize that God was calling me to go through the emotions that failure brings in its wake. I had to feel both for myself and for others who are going through disappointments and struggles in their lives. All my plans being brought to naught was a very intense experience. How I longed for some relief and couldn’t find any.
 God then began to cause me to consider people who went through sicknesses or persecution while they were actively serving God. There was not much that I had lost except not having my desire fulfilled, but think of people who have lost everything, even while they were walking with God. 
I feel more crushed than I realize when I see others enjoying peace, even while going through intense battles not of their own making. May God teach me His ways and equip me to fight the good fight of faith. 

He deserves it!

One of my bigger endeavour these days is to focus my mind on the things of God and to meditate on Him without allowing my thoughts to wander within a short span of time. God. As I draw closer to Him, I find it more and more disturbing that I can so easily lose my attention and fail to give Him the honour that is due to Him. Surely He deserves all and I have to give Him the glory that is due His Name. The very fact that He has provided a way to approach the very throne room should leave me in awe of Him. He is not only the One who provides for me physically but He is the very sustainer of my life. Every day, I wake up because of Him. He is the One who literally keeps me from falling and guards my very steps. All that I desire right now is that I would be able to find His presence as endearing and sufficient in every way. I want to think of Him and focus all my energies on restoring my life to bring it in line with His.